Finding our way around Riga (Alternatively titled: Our kids don't know how to walk on sidewalks)

(This post was drafted during our first week here... and then life happened and it didn't get posted, so I'm posting it now!)
We've been in Riga a few days now getting ourselves settled and adjusted (hello jet lag). We've been looking at houses and apartments, opening bank accounts, and getting medical clearance. Also, scouting out the best playgrounds, ice cream shops, and as our kids say "kid-friendly restaurants," which to them means the waiter brings them coloring activities.

The city is super cute and we've enjoyed walking around exploring. Taxis have been super easy and there is a lot of English.

We're off to a great start and in Tegan's words we "keep forgetting we actually live here".

And that sidewalk thing? It's been quite apparent it is not a skill our kids have learned. I guess not having sidewalks their entire lives would do that.

New Adventures Clue #2

(see Clue #1 here)

New Year, New Adventures

Happy New Year!

At the beginning of this school year we decided that it was time, after 6 years, for us to move on from Kathmandu. A big decision, but also one that we knew was right. We've now accepted jobs and are looking forward to our new adventure. To share out new home we played a game with our family and friends on our personal social media accounts and thought we'd bring it to you. 5 clues over 5 days to try to guess our new home country. See the first clue below:

Petrol problems

Petrol, among many other items that Nepal gets from India, has become scarce. With a newly adopted constitution that has been in the works for a long time, some things have gotten complicated in the relationship between Nepal and India.

Taxis line the roads waiting for gas stations to get gas; most of these cars were sitting parked with no drivers. The roads are very empty. The news reports small batches of tankers with gas have been allowed through the border, but it's not enough to fill the need. Cylinders of gas for cooking are also in short supply.

We are hoping for a quick resolution. The people of Nepal are still recovering from the earthquake in April, these shortages make day-to-day life very hard for many.

Staying well

Living overseas is a rotation of leaving people or being left behind. It's emotionally taxing, though the goodbyes become so regular that we often forget to leave, and stay, well. Pollock wrote about building your "RAFT", to start your new adventure without bringing a bunch of baggage with you (pun intended). What about those of us who are staying put? That's hard too! Amidst natural disaster coping, this year it's been a challenge to say the least. Here are some things to think about for those of us saying goodbye to people moving on who have touched our lives in some way; best friends, co-workers, friends of your kids, etc.

(In that we are in a post-natural disaster situation, this doesn't cover leaving or staying when people have quickly evacuated and are not coming back. I wish I had more on that, perhaps in the future).

1) Go ahead and build that raft even though you aren't leaving. Reconcile with the people leaving, affirm them, say farewell. Think forward with them, and think forward positively for yourself.

2) Set aside time to spend with them in the last few weeks.

3) Take pictures, write cards, make farewell gifts that will pack easily - whatever fits your style.

4) Be conscious of making plans for the future in front of them, they will of course be left out.

5) Share in their excitement about their new post or repatriation.

6) Acknowledge the awkward, the sad, the happy with each other. Put words to it. It'll make people feel better and normalizes the whole thing we go through all the time.

7) Understand they are coping with a lot and your relationship might change as a result.

8) Grieve; it's ok. Change equals loss, loss equals grief.

9) Have kids?  Teach them how to say goodbye, help give them words for their feelings, don't shoo away the feelings with "you'll find a new friend" just acknowledge the sadness/frustration/guilt/anger.

Have other great ideas?

Bubbles

After a big shake last Tuesday, in which we evacuated school and took a day off for buildings to be reinspected, things have calmed down.  There are still aftershocks here and there, though it's getting to the point that sometimes people feel them, sometimes they don't.

In our community nerves are raw; focus is lacking.  But we're in our houses.  We're back at work doing pretty normal things.  Sure, there have been changes, but for us, life is pretty normal.  Go to school, come home, play, eat dinner, read books, kids' bedtime, read books without pictures in them, go to bed.

Temporarily rebuilt

Except the knowledge that we are in a bubble.  A bubble of resources, of options, of support.  Expat.  Privileged.

It's hard to live in that space.  It's uncomfortable on many levels.  We've picked up our pieces, and there are so many without any pieces to pick up.


As a school we are supporting our local community and beyond. We have received numerous questions regarding donations. A PayPal account has been created: Lincoln School Kathmandu Earthquake Relief Fund through our business manager Janne (Shah) Gadegaard.

Money collected will go through a process of thorough vetting of needs to rebuild homes, provide medical and supporting the communities. No administrative costs will be incurred. We are sharing how the funds are distributed through our website and our Facebook page.

Packing a carry-on for infants and toddlers

The bigger they get the more they can help you carry all their stuff!

This list is assuming you are also checking luggage.  Our method for long flights (I'm talking 25-30 hours travel time with 16 hour legs) is to have 2 diaper bags.  One bag goes at our feet and one up in the overhead bins.  Each is complete with some of all the items, and the bag at our feet can be re-stocked during layovers or mid-flight when depleted.  Here is my list of must-haves for our two little ones:

• Diapers: more than you think you will need at least to get you through the flight and the first day at your destination.  In a pinch some airlines have them, and some airports, but don't count on it.
• Wipes: great for more than just diaper changes
• Clothes: a few changes of clothes for the plane; think comfy/cozy and something that will make diaper changes in those tiny bathrooms easy; some for the grown ups too if you have space, but really, who has space?
• Entertainment: toys (quiet ones that won't roll down the aisle if dropped), books, coloring/drawing supplies, ipad (toddler headphones - amazing!), etc.  New items are a bonus.
• Meals and snacks: like diapers - more than you think you'll need (what if they hate the in-flight meal, what if there is no in-flight meal?); snack trap
• Milk/water bottle: (watch the pressure changes; our camelbak kid's water bottle [which, by the way, is the best we've come across in terms of leaking in non-pressurized settings] become geysers mid-flight, it's pretty embarrassing when you spray the surrounding 5 rows)
• Medicine: tylenol, diaper cream, aquaphor - whatever your go-tos are.  Travel-size it if you can, otherwise I've had good luck getting things through security since they are baby items.
• Plastic bags or wetbag: lots of uses, when you need them you need them
• Blanket for domestic or budget airlines: use it as a blanket, pillow, mop up spills, play peek-a-boo

Other things you may need: formula, pump, special blankets/stuffed animals, prescriptions, and pacifiers.

With each person getting a carry-on + personal item, and lap seats getting an additional carry-on we haven't had a problem with airline allowances when also checking luggage.  It does get to be challenging to carry all that around the airport plus the kids though!

Good luck!

Flying: The good, the bad, and the ugly. The family edition.

We fly a lot.  And while we're getting pretty good at flying with young children (and our kids pretty much rock at it), there are those times when you reflect on the bad moments and appreciate the good.  This post is a result of some ups and downs on our last journey to Kathmandu from the states, one that took 57.5 hours, a 16 hour flight leg, 1 missed flight, 1 night in the airport, and 7 pieces of luggage that didn't arrive with us.  I give you my musings on the good, bad, and ugly of flying (with kids in particular):

The good is sleeping children.

It’s an empty seat next to you.

It’s a lounge with good food, a playroom, and showers.

It’s airport seating that doesn’t have an armrest between each seat preventing you from laying down.

It’s an outlet near a comfortable seat. 

It’s a USB charging plug on the plane.

It’s an in-flight children’s meal.

It’s the stewards and stewardesses that love babies and kids (and will entertain them for awhile, even hold them while you go to the bathroom!).

It’s an upgrade.

It’s flying without children when you regularly fly with children.

It’s getting comments at the end of a flight saying how well your children did (all that work – packing snacks and entertainment, constantly supplying those said snacks and entertainment, monitoring seat kicking and volume of speaking, and special privileges [ipad for hours at a time, sure!] and wonky sleep schedules you’ll later have to cope with – paid off).

It’s being met at the gate by family or friends.

The bad is being awake at 3am in the airport trying to sleep on tile floor next to your toddler in case he wakes up and tries to wander off.

It’s airplane food.

It's a baby that won't sleep.

It's flying pregnant.

It’s a pen exploded in your bag.

It’s trying to sleep on the tray table in a desperate attempt to get comfortable.

It’s overnight delays.

It’s lugging around too much carry-on luggage (packing a diaper bag for 30 hours of travel requires a LOT of stuff!).

It’s sitting under an overhead compartment when someone is trying to put a piece of luggage that is too big.

It’s a baby on your lap and no room to put your tray down to eat.

It’s a seat that won’t recline.

It's luggage overages.

It’s a budget airline flight.

It’s headphone jacks that require the silly 2 or 3 prong headphone plugs so you have to use the airline headphones.

The ugly is waking up realizing you either: drooled or were in your neighbor’s space… or worse – both. 

It’s being the neighbor.

It’s the Kathmandu airport bathrooms.

It’s when that crying baby is your own.

It’s dealing with a child who has to pee “really really bad”  right when the seatbelt sign goes off after the plane has landed (you know that moment, when everyone instantly jumps up and gets their bags down as if they might not make it off the plane if they don’t).

It’s coping with upset stomachs and the inevitable traveller’s diarrhea.  That line for the bathroom after a meal has been served is a nightmare.

It’s being the only woman on a flight.

It’s the vomit bag and needing to use it.

It’s sitting next to (behind, kitty corner, in the general vicinity of) a person who needs to use the vomit bag.


Here's to hoping your next flight has more of the good than the bad and none of the ugly.

Fevers

We've had a sick house the last couple weeks.  Two of us with fevers that wouldn't quit. 

The nurses and receptionists at the clinic we go to are starting to remember me, and at a travel clinic with expats in and out all the time they NEVER remember you.

Yesterday, day 4 of my fever, I went into the clinic and the doctor described fevers as such: Fevers back home are usually telling you something like, hey - slow down.  Rest.  Take care of yourself.   Most of the time not so serious.  Fevers in Nepal, however, can mean nasty business.

Thanks for speaking my language doctor.

And nasty business it is...maybe.  Turns out typhoid, which is what they think I might have, is a tricky bugger to culture as a definitive positive test.  It's sitting down in the lab still growing.  But it's no good to just sit and wait for some bacteria to grow on a petri dish before doing something about it, so treatment it is.  Daily trips to the clinic for at least 4 days for IV antibiotics.

The good news is, I'm feeling better (as demonstrated by my ability to put together a coherent blog post)!  Fingers crossed (on those freshly washed hands) to better health!

When visitors come

When visitors come it immediately pulls you back to a time when the sights, smells and experiences you have everyday were not everyday.  Back to when it was all fresh and raw.  

There are cows in the road.  So much poverty.  Sight-seeing.  Mountains.  The saris are beautiful.  Pollution - garbage, air, noise.  Trekking.  Temples.  Namaste.  

It's exciting for awhile, but it is also comforting when you settle back into your norm.  The familiar, routine.  And once again the city is not a tourist destination, it is home.

Why McDonalds?

When we travel you can usually count on us hitting up a McDonalds or Starbucks where ever we are. Why is that, when at home in the states those are not places we hardly ever eat at? A couple reasons: 1) it's food from home and 2) it's pretty darn consistent.

Sure, we can get a pizza most places we go but you never really know what you are going to get (clams and corn on the "meat lovers"? Yeah, that happened). If you are looking to order favorite foods from home it is best to have your expectations set low; it often comes out at best with something not quite right, and at worst just all wrong. But at McDonalds that quarter pounder and French fries is about the same where ever you go (except of course at places that don't serve beef, then you've got interesting new things to try like the McVeggie. It's also fun to see the local additions - taro pies in Taiwan for example). I can order my Starbucks drink, in English no less, anywhere and I know exactly what I'm getting. So while it's not necessarily what we'd consider good food, or the food we miss the most, it is familiar and there is something comforting in that.

Moving abroad with young kids

Have an infant or toddler (or both!) and thinking of taking your family abroad to live? Already taken a job abroad and are thinking about what you need to plan for your little ones? Though our kids were born while we were already abroad, we have some thoughts on this based on our experiences and those of others we know.

1. Seek out other families already settled in your new country well before you leave - what advice do they have?

If you are going overseas because of a job that regularly places people overseas they should be able to help with your transition. But if you are on your own find blogs/message boards/etc with families already living in the country or town where you will relocate to and reach out. I get emails all the time and do my best to answer questions. Ask them the questions you know you have, but also ask what their day to day life is like, this can give you a better idea of what to expect.

2. Think ahead to what you might need for the next few stages.
Will your baby start eating solids and need baby food? Start walking and need shoes? Will your toddler hit a growth spurt and need a whole new wardrobe (seemingly overnight as is usually the case)? What medicines will you need? Diapers? Training diapers? Once you have brainstormed, try to figure out what will be available in your new country. It's also good to know about shipping into the country and if there are restrictions.

3. People will have opinions about your move, and will probably voice them. Be ready with your response.
We come across a lot of surprise, polite questioning of motives, the "oh your families must miss you", and "I could never do that because..." (which is really often a judgement in disguise). We know why we live abroad and the benefits for our family and share these to varying degrees depending on the individual. Some will never understand. Some will be inspired. Some will live vicariously through you.

4. Make a plan of communication with family and friends.
Find a time that Skype works for you. Set up a blog. Facebook pictures. Email. Do what works for you and the folks back home.

5. Bring traditions from home and start new ones.
Christmas in a country that is Buddhist will never be the same as Christmas at home. Easter will go by without a blink of an eye. And you will have new holidays to learn and celebrate. Make the best out of all of it. Bring things from home or recreate holiday traditions and find some new things your family can do and possibly take with you when you leave.

6. Find other families to hang out with.

It'll help. For everything ranging from figuring out where to buy the good diapers to what preschool options are out there to venting about ____. Support networks are always a plus.

7. Think of some routines for bed and nap time that are not place specific.
Moving abroad will inevitably involve many different cribs/beds/airplane seats/laps/car seats - you name it - both during the trip there, but in settling-in and travel once you get there.

8. Know that things will be different, and different is ok, it can even be great! (Though fried pork fiber for baby? Not great).

Are you raising a young family overseas? What advice do you have?

15 facts about our house

1. Our bedroom door has a peep hole.

2. We know we're load shedding when we open the fridge and the light doesn't come on.

3. Every armoire and drawer has a lock and key.

4. Last year we had to go outside and turn on our water pump each day to fill our water tank then listen for the over-flow and run out to turn it off. This year we have an automatic pump that turns on and off by itself. Love it!

5. Our washing machine is in the bathroom and a hose runs across the room into a drain in the floor.

6. You know it's garbage pick-up day when a man walks down the street blowing a whistle. Who knows where the garbage goes.

7. We have a gas stove and water heater (that heats only our shower) and the gas comes from tanks we replace when empty.

8. We have 7 dressers, one for every room in the house.

9. On the roof we have a solar heater for water (the only source of hot water at all taps except the master bathroom shower). It's a bunch of tubing that holds water and is warmed by the sun.

10. Each bedroom, 4 of them, has their own bathrooms.

11. Many of our wall light fixtures are meant to be outside, and most of them are mounted upside down.

12. Rope is strung in the top floor bedroom to hang dry clothes - no driers here - for when the weather isn't nice enough to hang outside.

13. We keep bottled water by our bathroom sink to brush our teeth.

14. We have no tv.

15. We have great internet.

 

Thanksgiving for four

With a 5 day old newborn and a 2 year old who wants nothing to do with sitting quietly, we set out to have Thanksgiving dinner at the Marriott in Bangkok.  Though a tad hectic for Jeremiah getting food for everyone from the buffet and wrangling Tegan, it was nice to have some turkey and gravy (and dessert... oh the dessert)!

Full plate for me; Tegan happy to have Hello Kitty dishes

Huge ice turkey carving?  Yes please.

So many desserts!

Thanksgivings past?  See Kathmandu and Singapore versions.

Introducing....

Liam Conor!

<3 p="">

Christmas away from our "home away from home"

Not only are we spending Christmas away from the states this year, we're also away from Nepal living out of suitcases.  It's got me thinking creatively about how to recreate some traditions (see point 2) and celebrate the season.

Here is some of the ideas we've come across so far:

-No Christmas trees?  Go small, artificial or make your own (crepe paper, ribbon, felt, or paper - lots of ideas online)

-Last year our family took a hallmark recordable book and recorded them reading it.

-Crafts!  Paper snowflakes, salt dough ornaments, paper chains, advent calendars

-Elf on a shelf is everywhere, at least everywhere on Pinterest, but something that is easy to do where ever you are

-Movies - easy to take and watch anywhere

-Christmas books - there's an app for that when the real thing isn't available

-Matching pajamas (this takes some thinking ahead so there is time to find/order) but certainly identifies you as a family!

-Food - tricky if ovens are not common in your country and with ingredients that may be hard to find; improvise!  In bigger cities restaurants or import stores may offer Christmas dinners, just book in advance.


Anyone have other ideas?

How to spend 3 weeks in Bangkok when you are 36+ weeks pregnant

You can follow my lead:

Read, watch Elementary on your laptop and bad crime shows on local tv, facetime home, and go out only for food and necessities because really, it's awfully hot out there.

Negatives: No Tegan or Jeremiah, the heat, dealing with the logistics of having a baby away from home

Perks: Good food, air conditioning, bubble tea just down the road, maid service

Nothing like a good case of boredom to really get you ready for the chaos that is about to come!

Happy Halloween

We joined a Halloween tradition in our area of trick-or-treating among the neighborhood expat families, about 5 houses, and ended at a house that hosted a party for everyone.  In our group we had a knight, firefighters, witches and our own little minnie mouse and to say we attracted some attention would be an understatement (the adults wearing costumes as well probably added some extra attention - a very pregnant cat and a squirrel on either hand of that adorable minnie mouse? yeah).

It was the perfect amount of fun and candy treats.

From the outside

At the end of last year we decided we needed to move.  Our last house was great, but set up for a single person or a couple, not a family.  This house belonged to a family at school who was leaving so we snatched it up.   We're loving it!

The colors, I know, I know.

Guard house

Beautiful garden

Our beast of a gate

So many of these flowers!

From one of the upstairs patios - a swing set up for last Dashain still up

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