Finding our way around Riga (Alternatively titled: Our kids don't know how to walk on sidewalks)

(This post was drafted during our first week here... and then life happened and it didn't get posted, so I'm posting it now!)
We've been in Riga a few days now getting ourselves settled and adjusted (hello jet lag). We've been looking at houses and apartments, opening bank accounts, and getting medical clearance. Also, scouting out the best playgrounds, ice cream shops, and as our kids say "kid-friendly restaurants," which to them means the waiter brings them coloring activities.

The city is super cute and we've enjoyed walking around exploring. Taxis have been super easy and there is a lot of English.

We're off to a great start and in Tegan's words we "keep forgetting we actually live here".

And that sidewalk thing? It's been quite apparent it is not a skill our kids have learned. I guess not having sidewalks their entire lives would do that.

New Adventures Clue #2

(see Clue #1 here)

New Year, New Adventures

Happy New Year!

At the beginning of this school year we decided that it was time, after 6 years, for us to move on from Kathmandu. A big decision, but also one that we knew was right. We've now accepted jobs and are looking forward to our new adventure. To share out new home we played a game with our family and friends on our personal social media accounts and thought we'd bring it to you. 5 clues over 5 days to try to guess our new home country. See the first clue below:

Holi madness

Holi fell on Tuesday in Kathmandu this year. So, we celebrated on Saturday. Tegan pronounced in the midst of water and color flying "this is the best holi ever!" Liam, who last year was pretty sure he hated the holiday, was a bit more convinced this year that it can be a fun time.

Bubbles

After a big shake last Tuesday, in which we evacuated school and took a day off for buildings to be reinspected, things have calmed down.  There are still aftershocks here and there, though it's getting to the point that sometimes people feel them, sometimes they don't.

In our community nerves are raw; focus is lacking.  But we're in our houses.  We're back at work doing pretty normal things.  Sure, there have been changes, but for us, life is pretty normal.  Go to school, come home, play, eat dinner, read books, kids' bedtime, read books without pictures in them, go to bed.

Temporarily rebuilt

Except the knowledge that we are in a bubble.  A bubble of resources, of options, of support.  Expat.  Privileged.

It's hard to live in that space.  It's uncomfortable on many levels.  We've picked up our pieces, and there are so many without any pieces to pick up.


As a school we are supporting our local community and beyond. We have received numerous questions regarding donations. A PayPal account has been created: Lincoln School Kathmandu Earthquake Relief Fund through our business manager Janne (Shah) Gadegaard.

Money collected will go through a process of thorough vetting of needs to rebuild homes, provide medical and supporting the communities. No administrative costs will be incurred. We are sharing how the funds are distributed through our website and our Facebook page.

Saturday April 25th, 2015: A week later

We must be creatures of habit. Minutes ago Jeremiah left the house to go to school, I have just put Liam down for a nap upstairs in his crib, and Tegan and I are hanging out downstairs. Exactly what we were doing this time last week. Until about noon, that is, when the ground started shaking. Luckily Tegan was already in my lap, I held her tight, avoided the shelf that crashed to our right and frantically thought about how I was going to get upstairs to Liam. I knew I couldn't make it up the stairs right then, I couldn't even take a couple steps without falling. Tegan was terrified.

After what felt like ages the ground stopped shaking and I got a text from Jeremiah that said "get out now!".  I put Tegan outside, told her to stay there, and raced to get Liam. I'd known we'd placed his crib in a place that no furniture would fall on it but had no idea about the structure of our house.  I walked into his room and saw him just waking up and with great relief I grabbed him and raced down, snagged some shoes for all of us, and sat in the yard with both kids on my lap.  Jeremiah met us just a few minutes later - he'd made his way down from the 3rd story of our school building and ran home.  Aftershock after aftershock hit.  Neighbors gathered in our yard, a space that is away from things that can fall.  People were gathering in the streets.  I emailed my mom "we're ok", knowing it was the middle of the night there but that this would be on the news when she woke.  I tried to call our friends.  Nothing would go through.  I sent texts.

We decided to go to school - just a few minute walk.  Jeremiah went into the house to grab essentials to pack a bag.  And we booked it.

At school we met up with other folks who were either on campus for school-related activities or those who were nearby and made it to school as we had.  No one was hurt.  Hugs, tears, shaking; we sat for awhile.  We hung out in the field and tried texting, calling, skyping, to account for everyone.  Turns out facebook was the easiest thing to use, when texts or calls wouldn't go through, a facebook message would.

We pulled out snacks for everyone.  Water.  Blankets.  After awhile we determined we would sleep there.

We slept in a tent that night.  Aftershocks continued.  They still continue as I write this exactly a week later.

Our school is well equipped, we felt safe and well supported.  Folks that lived nearby grabbed food and supplies from their houses.  Friends helped with Tegan and Liam.  People checked in regularly so we'd always know where everyone was. It was a scary and difficult time, but we have good people around us here.

Food set up in the middle of the basketball court

Making a house out of sidewalk chalk

In the coming days we would sleep in a classroom, on a friend's ground floor, on our own ground floor and finally 5 days later in our own beds upstairs.  We slowly got back cell service, power, wifi.  We are still waiting on our water, but who cares at this point?

For the first 4 nights I slept with clothes and shoes on.  And was glad I did as we evacuated for aftershocks.  We've had a bag packed by the door ready to go with money, passports, diapers, wipes, snacks, water, headlamps - what we've come to realize are the essentials of our life right now.  In seconds I could go from asleep to scooping up Liam and ready to go.  As we slept with groups of people everyone strategically placed our layout so everyone could get out quickly.  Every time I was indoors I knew how we would get the kids and get out if needed.

Doing dishes

Things are settling down for us.  However, for so so many people of Nepal life only continues to get worse.  Living with that gratitude that my family is safe with the heartbreak that others are not is a daily struggle.

Many have asked us how to help.  There are a lot of forces at play here that are barriers to getting help to those that need it.  I won't go into all that here, but our school has set up an account that will allow us and folks connected to the community to help in effective ways with no administrative costs.  On our website you will find a link, with the following information: 

"As a school we are planning to support our local community and beyond. We have received numerous questions regarding donations. A PayPal account has been created: Lincoln School Kathmandu Earthquake Relief Fund through our business manager Janne (Shah) Gadegaard.

Money collected will go through a process of thorough vetting of needs to rebuild homes, provide medical and supporting the communities. No administrative costs will be incurred. We will share how the funds were distributed through our website and our Facebook page later."

Packing a carry-on for infants and toddlers

The bigger they get the more they can help you carry all their stuff!

This list is assuming you are also checking luggage.  Our method for long flights (I'm talking 25-30 hours travel time with 16 hour legs) is to have 2 diaper bags.  One bag goes at our feet and one up in the overhead bins.  Each is complete with some of all the items, and the bag at our feet can be re-stocked during layovers or mid-flight when depleted.  Here is my list of must-haves for our two little ones:

• Diapers: more than you think you will need at least to get you through the flight and the first day at your destination.  In a pinch some airlines have them, and some airports, but don't count on it.
• Wipes: great for more than just diaper changes
• Clothes: a few changes of clothes for the plane; think comfy/cozy and something that will make diaper changes in those tiny bathrooms easy; some for the grown ups too if you have space, but really, who has space?
• Entertainment: toys (quiet ones that won't roll down the aisle if dropped), books, coloring/drawing supplies, ipad (toddler headphones - amazing!), etc.  New items are a bonus.
• Meals and snacks: like diapers - more than you think you'll need (what if they hate the in-flight meal, what if there is no in-flight meal?); snack trap
• Milk/water bottle: (watch the pressure changes; our camelbak kid's water bottle [which, by the way, is the best we've come across in terms of leaking in non-pressurized settings] become geysers mid-flight, it's pretty embarrassing when you spray the surrounding 5 rows)
• Medicine: tylenol, diaper cream, aquaphor - whatever your go-tos are.  Travel-size it if you can, otherwise I've had good luck getting things through security since they are baby items.
• Plastic bags or wetbag: lots of uses, when you need them you need them
• Blanket for domestic or budget airlines: use it as a blanket, pillow, mop up spills, play peek-a-boo

Other things you may need: formula, pump, special blankets/stuffed animals, prescriptions, and pacifiers.

With each person getting a carry-on + personal item, and lap seats getting an additional carry-on we haven't had a problem with airline allowances when also checking luggage.  It does get to be challenging to carry all that around the airport plus the kids though!

Good luck!

Flying: The good, the bad, and the ugly. The family edition.

We fly a lot.  And while we're getting pretty good at flying with young children (and our kids pretty much rock at it), there are those times when you reflect on the bad moments and appreciate the good.  This post is a result of some ups and downs on our last journey to Kathmandu from the states, one that took 57.5 hours, a 16 hour flight leg, 1 missed flight, 1 night in the airport, and 7 pieces of luggage that didn't arrive with us.  I give you my musings on the good, bad, and ugly of flying (with kids in particular):

The good is sleeping children.

It’s an empty seat next to you.

It’s a lounge with good food, a playroom, and showers.

It’s airport seating that doesn’t have an armrest between each seat preventing you from laying down.

It’s an outlet near a comfortable seat. 

It’s a USB charging plug on the plane.

It’s an in-flight children’s meal.

It’s the stewards and stewardesses that love babies and kids (and will entertain them for awhile, even hold them while you go to the bathroom!).

It’s an upgrade.

It’s flying without children when you regularly fly with children.

It’s getting comments at the end of a flight saying how well your children did (all that work – packing snacks and entertainment, constantly supplying those said snacks and entertainment, monitoring seat kicking and volume of speaking, and special privileges [ipad for hours at a time, sure!] and wonky sleep schedules you’ll later have to cope with – paid off).

It’s being met at the gate by family or friends.

The bad is being awake at 3am in the airport trying to sleep on tile floor next to your toddler in case he wakes up and tries to wander off.

It’s airplane food.

It's a baby that won't sleep.

It's flying pregnant.

It’s a pen exploded in your bag.

It’s trying to sleep on the tray table in a desperate attempt to get comfortable.

It’s overnight delays.

It’s lugging around too much carry-on luggage (packing a diaper bag for 30 hours of travel requires a LOT of stuff!).

It’s sitting under an overhead compartment when someone is trying to put a piece of luggage that is too big.

It’s a baby on your lap and no room to put your tray down to eat.

It’s a seat that won’t recline.

It's luggage overages.

It’s a budget airline flight.

It’s headphone jacks that require the silly 2 or 3 prong headphone plugs so you have to use the airline headphones.

The ugly is waking up realizing you either: drooled or were in your neighbor’s space… or worse – both. 

It’s being the neighbor.

It’s the Kathmandu airport bathrooms.

It’s when that crying baby is your own.

It’s dealing with a child who has to pee “really really bad”  right when the seatbelt sign goes off after the plane has landed (you know that moment, when everyone instantly jumps up and gets their bags down as if they might not make it off the plane if they don’t).

It’s coping with upset stomachs and the inevitable traveller’s diarrhea.  That line for the bathroom after a meal has been served is a nightmare.

It’s being the only woman on a flight.

It’s the vomit bag and needing to use it.

It’s sitting next to (behind, kitty corner, in the general vicinity of) a person who needs to use the vomit bag.


Here's to hoping your next flight has more of the good than the bad and none of the ugly.

Moving abroad with young kids

Have an infant or toddler (or both!) and thinking of taking your family abroad to live? Already taken a job abroad and are thinking about what you need to plan for your little ones? Though our kids were born while we were already abroad, we have some thoughts on this based on our experiences and those of others we know.

1. Seek out other families already settled in your new country well before you leave - what advice do they have?

If you are going overseas because of a job that regularly places people overseas they should be able to help with your transition. But if you are on your own find blogs/message boards/etc with families already living in the country or town where you will relocate to and reach out. I get emails all the time and do my best to answer questions. Ask them the questions you know you have, but also ask what their day to day life is like, this can give you a better idea of what to expect.

2. Think ahead to what you might need for the next few stages.
Will your baby start eating solids and need baby food? Start walking and need shoes? Will your toddler hit a growth spurt and need a whole new wardrobe (seemingly overnight as is usually the case)? What medicines will you need? Diapers? Training diapers? Once you have brainstormed, try to figure out what will be available in your new country. It's also good to know about shipping into the country and if there are restrictions.

3. People will have opinions about your move, and will probably voice them. Be ready with your response.
We come across a lot of surprise, polite questioning of motives, the "oh your families must miss you", and "I could never do that because..." (which is really often a judgement in disguise). We know why we live abroad and the benefits for our family and share these to varying degrees depending on the individual. Some will never understand. Some will be inspired. Some will live vicariously through you.

4. Make a plan of communication with family and friends.
Find a time that Skype works for you. Set up a blog. Facebook pictures. Email. Do what works for you and the folks back home.

5. Bring traditions from home and start new ones.
Christmas in a country that is Buddhist will never be the same as Christmas at home. Easter will go by without a blink of an eye. And you will have new holidays to learn and celebrate. Make the best out of all of it. Bring things from home or recreate holiday traditions and find some new things your family can do and possibly take with you when you leave.

6. Find other families to hang out with.

It'll help. For everything ranging from figuring out where to buy the good diapers to what preschool options are out there to venting about ____. Support networks are always a plus.

7. Think of some routines for bed and nap time that are not place specific.
Moving abroad will inevitably involve many different cribs/beds/airplane seats/laps/car seats - you name it - both during the trip there, but in settling-in and travel once you get there.

8. Know that things will be different, and different is ok, it can even be great! (Though fried pork fiber for baby? Not great).

Are you raising a young family overseas? What advice do you have?

Thanksgiving for four

With a 5 day old newborn and a 2 year old who wants nothing to do with sitting quietly, we set out to have Thanksgiving dinner at the Marriott in Bangkok.  Though a tad hectic for Jeremiah getting food for everyone from the buffet and wrangling Tegan, it was nice to have some turkey and gravy (and dessert... oh the dessert)!

Full plate for me; Tegan happy to have Hello Kitty dishes

Huge ice turkey carving?  Yes please.

So many desserts!

Thanksgivings past?  See Kathmandu and Singapore versions.

Introducing....

Liam Conor!

<3 p="">

Christmas away from our "home away from home"

Not only are we spending Christmas away from the states this year, we're also away from Nepal living out of suitcases.  It's got me thinking creatively about how to recreate some traditions (see point 2) and celebrate the season.

Here is some of the ideas we've come across so far:

-No Christmas trees?  Go small, artificial or make your own (crepe paper, ribbon, felt, or paper - lots of ideas online)

-Last year our family took a hallmark recordable book and recorded them reading it.

-Crafts!  Paper snowflakes, salt dough ornaments, paper chains, advent calendars

-Elf on a shelf is everywhere, at least everywhere on Pinterest, but something that is easy to do where ever you are

-Movies - easy to take and watch anywhere

-Christmas books - there's an app for that when the real thing isn't available

-Matching pajamas (this takes some thinking ahead so there is time to find/order) but certainly identifies you as a family!

-Food - tricky if ovens are not common in your country and with ingredients that may be hard to find; improvise!  In bigger cities restaurants or import stores may offer Christmas dinners, just book in advance.


Anyone have other ideas?

How to spend 3 weeks in Bangkok when you are 36+ weeks pregnant

You can follow my lead:

Read, watch Elementary on your laptop and bad crime shows on local tv, facetime home, and go out only for food and necessities because really, it's awfully hot out there.

Negatives: No Tegan or Jeremiah, the heat, dealing with the logistics of having a baby away from home

Perks: Good food, air conditioning, bubble tea just down the road, maid service

Nothing like a good case of boredom to really get you ready for the chaos that is about to come!

Dashain break in Bali

We took a family vacation to Bali, staying in Sanur, with another family over Dashain break.  Bali was a great place for our group: a 33-week pregnant woman, a 2 month old newborn, a nursing mom, a toddler, a pre-schooler and 2 dads.  Mostly we hung out at the pool, ate on the beach while the kids played in the sand, and took one day trip to Ubud.  Sanur was a nice, slow pace for us, clean but not over-the-top resort-town feel.  Ubud was much more touristy but we saw some nice sites on the way.  It was all a good change of scenery from Kathmandu!

House pool

Bali Bird Park

Temple

Temple

Ubud

Goa Gajah (Elephant Cave)

Goa Gajah (Elephant Cave)

Happy Halloween

We joined a Halloween tradition in our area of trick-or-treating among the neighborhood expat families, about 5 houses, and ended at a house that hosted a party for everyone.  In our group we had a knight, firefighters, witches and our own little minnie mouse and to say we attracted some attention would be an understatement (the adults wearing costumes as well probably added some extra attention - a very pregnant cat and a squirrel on either hand of that adorable minnie mouse? yeah).

It was the perfect amount of fun and candy treats.

From the outside

At the end of last year we decided we needed to move.  Our last house was great, but set up for a single person or a couple, not a family.  This house belonged to a family at school who was leaving so we snatched it up.   We're loving it!

The colors, I know, I know.

Guard house

Beautiful garden

Our beast of a gate

So many of these flowers!

From one of the upstairs patios - a swing set up for last Dashain still up